Tuesday, January 23, 2007


Dealing with an Unhappy Woman

:-) ...But, of course, there is really only one effective way in which to satisfy your woman so that she remains calm and at peace with the world, and so that she no longer feels the urge to complain daily nor the need to nag hourly about anything.
And this is to shoot her.
Take it from AH, nothing else will do the trick.
There is no other way to put her out of her malingering misery or to stop that mindless moaning.
And, more importantly, there is no other way for you to gain any respite from either of these things.
So you can forget about all the psychology books, the relationship experts, the priests and the marriage counselors. A bullet between the eyes is the best solution - especially for the longer term.
In the shorter term, the only real problem is getting rid of the body or trying to convince the incredulous judge that someone else did it - preferably that dragon of a mother-in-law; someone whom your woman increasingly resembles in both mentality and shape.
No way are you going to remain married to that!
That wasn't the deal at the ceremony. That wasn't in the contract. You have been sold a pig in a poke.
You have been cheated and abused.
But this is the price you pay for not checking out properly the goods beforehand.
If you knew then what you know now you could have had some semblance of a life.
But, No.
She had a sweet smile and a likkle dipple in her cheeks.
And you just loved seeing her in that bright green dress that you bought for her from Woolworths.
That's all that it really took, eh, Einstein?
You would have been better off sniffing crack for all these years.
And now you want your money back.
You have paid the price. You have done your time. And right now you'd give away both your legs for some kind of loophole.
Well, there's no loophole, Patsy.
She'll clean you out. And you'll have nothing left but the shirt on your back and the hole from your pocket.
This is a no-win situation.
You should have checked out that mother of hers before walking the aisle.
But it's too late now.
If you manage to get a good lawyer he'll take all your money, and if you don't, she'll take it.
And between them they'll carve up your little nestegg like a birthday cake or a plot of land, and then they'll hand the rest of it over to her own lawyer.
You will be fleeced and left destitute with absolutely nothing more to look forward to, except, perhaps, the occasional bowl of soup or a piece of string to tie your shoe.
What to do, eh?
With careful planning and a few well-rehearsed alibis it should not be too difficult to make your woman blend more harmoniously with your point of view about her.
After all, what is death?
It is merely a state of mind. An absence of thought. A great big zero.
So why do people make such a fuss about it, eh?
That's what AH would like to know.
And if your woman is unhappy, then why let her suffer? It doesn't seem right to let her feel so negative about things.
It seems unfair.
And so if you really cannot get that hormonal hussy who hisses and hollers all day long to feel positive about anything, then helping her slide quickly towards that great big zero is surely an improvement!
As such, a well-aimed headshot from out of the blue would be an act of kindness.
An act of mercy.

Angry Harry quickly disavows his own advocacy of violence as "humour."

And so I make no apologies for making humour out of the notion that men who are fed up with their women should shoot them.
And if some people are offended by such humour, GOOD!
I **want** those people to be offended.

1 comment:

Gene Burmington said...

the only funny thing about his sense of humor was that i WASN'T laughing.

feminist blogs


Bitch. Ph.D.